The Greasy Ocho
Long Form Recap
We begin with AH TOH-DE-MAN, Dr. Eggman, Homer Jeebus, and Crow Magnum chilling in a tavern in Irewood. Our heroes received a summons from the High Bishop Ectoleus of Irewood. Upon meeting the Bishop in his office the party was tasked with retrieving a series of Orc scalps in exchange for monetary compensation.
Keeping with tradition the party stopped at a local Irewood tavern called Applegate's for a few roadie sodies before leaving the town to source some Orc scalps. After a brief, but aggravating conversation with the barkeep and a local drunk the party set off for the Orcish plains.
Setting a small fire in the wheated plains, Dr. Eggman attracted the attention of a strange creature that resembled a spider with horse-like legs which ambushed the party. After defeating the monster, the party stopped for the night in the clearing they had burned away.
During their rest stop the party was confronted by an Orcish scouting patrol who became suspicious of the party's motivations in the plains. Noting that the party were all non-humans the greater of the two Orcs challenged the party to prove their merit as allies to the Orcs. Crow Magnum suggested he fight the lesser of the two Orcs to which the leader, Skaal, happily obliged. After kicking the shit out of the lesser Orc, Skaal seemed pleased with the party's battle prowess and fearlessness and invited them back to his stronghold in the morning.
Meeting the Orcish Warchief Balragug Mulagug Blalalagug (Barney) the party, sympathetic to the Orcish plight against human incursions, took on the Chief's task of a retaliatory attack against the settlers of Irewood. Engaging in a short, but tense surprise attack against a human patrol the party scalped the human scouts and started to make their way back to the Orcish stronghold.
Returning to the stronghold with their victory scalps, the party arrived to find the stronghold mostly empty. Finding Warchief Barney in his tent the party presented their scalps and were rewarded thusly. Sensing potential in the group, Barney suggested to them a quest of a more sensitive nature than scalp-collection. Explaining that in the highlands above the Dwarven settlement of Corin's Pass there are a series of vaults and banks that are used for the storage of valuable items, Warchief Barney tasked the party with the retrieval of a highly valued artifact stored in one of these vaults.
Directing the party to his Orcish contact in Corin's Pass the party set out on the road to the Dwarven vaults. Before exiting the boundaries of Irewood hold, the party had a brief encounter with an Irewood patrol at a roadblock.
A few hours north of the city of Ebonshire, the party encountered a Tiefling Sorcerer named Gautama (Tinker Tom) who fleeced the party into telling him where they were headed and why. Gautama suggested the party meet with a Tengu in Corin's Pass who might be able to assist them with their robbery.
Arriving at the gates of Ebonshire the party decided to murder the gatekeeper and son of the Captain of the Guard rather than draw any undue attention to themselves (?) and dumped his body into a ravine (?!?!?) before circumventing the city entirely (!?!?!?!?!!?).
Finally arriving in Corin's pass the party learned that most of the administrative offices for the Dwarven vaults were actually in town rather than up in the hills. Locating the office of the largest vault in town the party entered and attempted to swindle Bori, one of the vault's managers into thinking they were traveling dignitaries attempting to store an item of value in the vault. However, the party refused to answer any of Bori's questions relating to their business raising his suspicion before ultimately getting kicked out of the offices and having their faces committed to memory.
Down, but not out, the party followed the lead Gautama had given them about a Tengu crime boss who might be able to assist them. Arriving in the slum district of Corin's pass the party ran into Lester the Tengu crime boss, Gautama, and Lester's bodyguards enjoying lunch at an outdoor restaurant. After a brief introduction the party was welcomed into Lester's safehouse and were promptly double crossed.
Gautama, after being told of the group's robbery plans at their initial meeting on the road, followed the party to Corin's Pass and witnessed their murder of the Ebonshire gatekeeper. Using his knowledge of the party's murder as leverage Lester requested that in addition to the artifact they planned to steal, they also steal for Lester a large sum of cash.
Lester, the Tengu crime boss, was blackmailing Dr. Eggman, Crow Magnum, Homer Jeebus, and AH TOH-DE-MAN. Recognizing breaking into a Dwarven vault would be a difficult task, Lester introduced a few of his associates to the blackmailees. Rog a Half-Orc Alchemist, Vladmir Pupin a Dhampir Inquisitor, and Bil Gombo Rillo the halfling rogue to both assist and keep an eye on the rest of the heroes.
Crow Magnum and Dr. Eggman broke off from the party to purchase a few small bags of explosive blasting powder while the rest of the group agreed on their plan to dress ATDM as a noble and attempt to subterfuge their way into the Borivault.
Upon gaining entry, The Greasy Ocho cased the joint. Bil Gombo Rillo snuck his way around the property and discovered TGOweren't the only outside group inside the vault. BGR spotted several Zhentarim dressed in tight leather speaking quietly in a hallway near the vault rooms. The rest of the party was given a tour of the vaulted areas by a Dwarven salesperson pretending to be potential customers. They were not joined by Gautama, Lester's main crony and assistant.
TGO secured a few moments unattended in the vault area and were able to secure the artifact, a mysterious rod of healing, using a few arcane tricks and some good old-fashioned lockpicking. However, in stealing the artifact from the Dwarven vaults they drew the attention of the Salesdwarf who began rushing hurriedly down the hall to check up on the "customers." When he arrived he found the party acting suspiciously and was seized by Vladmir Pupin.
Finding himself at the point of a sword surrounded by The Greasy Ocho, the salesdwarf revealed to the party the location of a secret exit located in the Master Dwarf's bedroom. However, before they could slink away into the night they party heard the sound of alarms ringing through the hallways of the Borivault.
Confronted by a small battalion of Dwarves the presence of the party was requested in the Hall of Elders, the throne room of the Dwarven enclave. When they arrived TGO were met with the sight of the Master Dwarf Bronzebeard Bori, many soldiers, and the Zhentarim Bil had spotted earlier in the vault. The Master Dwarf had explained that a valuable artifact was stolen from the Dwarves, but in a twist of luck the artifact the Dwarves were searching for was not the one the party had ripped off from the vaults.
Instead, Bronzebeard explained that a magically imbued deck of cards he had found in his travels had gone missing from the enclave's archives. The party professed their innocence as did the Zhentarim but the Dwarven leadership explained, after giving the guests full patdowns, that none shall be allowed to leave while the deck remained unaccounted for. While the Dwarves searched the grounds they invited the guests to rest and relax in the tavern.
Heading to the tavern, the party shared a disagreement with the unpleasant Zhentarim, nearly engaging in a bar fight with them. The fight was deescalated and the party decided to go out into the vault and help assist in the search for the cards so they could leave the Borivault.
The party encountered Gautama alone in one of the side hallways, looking smug, and rifling a deck of cards in his hands. Accusing Gautama of theft and risking blowing the whole operation the party killed Gautama where he stood and grabbed the deck of cards to bring to Bronzebeard.
Barging into the Hall of Elders the party declared that they had the deck of cards, and that they had apprehended them from Gautama. Shocked, Bronzebeard accosted the party blaming them for the actions of Gautama. Using the deck the adventurer's had turned into him as a punishment for their theft, the party sustained several crippling blows and buffs from the deck's magic a large fight between the Zhentarim, The Greasy Ocho, and the Dwarves erupted in the throne room.
At a clear disadvantage, the party was surely approaching death. Crow Magnum had fallen unconscious and ATDM was locked in a spectral cage
In a losing battle against Dwarven security, the party was rescued by the unseen hand of Deus Ex Machina. From the cracks between the stone in the ground luminescent purple smoke began to surround The Greasy Ocho and fill them with a strange purple light. Suddenly, the party warped through space, and possibly time into a large crowd gathered in a small town.
Apparating suddenly into this town with their wounds healed, Bil Gombo Rillo and Homer Jeebus missing, and with no one in the crowd seemingly noticing their unusual arrival, a commoner informed the travelers of the festival taking place. Over the years, the Crypt of the Everflame has become an important part of the history of the town Kassen. The town’s namesake and founder, Ekat Kassen, is interred within. The townsfolk view the crypt as a memorial to those difficult first years of the town’s history. Every autumn, a few of the townsfolk make a pilgrimage to the crypt to light a lantern from the flame and bring it back to town, where it is preserved all winter, a symbol of the town’s resilience. Most years, the town mayor and a group of dignitaries perform this quest.
Suddenly from outside the square a processional dressed in black lead by Mayor Uptal approached and mounted the stage. Addressing the townsfolk the Mayor asked who among them would rise and retrieve the Everflame. Breaking the silence, what was left of the party loudly volunteered to take on the journey. Awkwardly, it seemed that the voyagers had been previously chosen and the mayor's address was simply pomp and circumstance. Embarrassed, TGO insisted they go to the crypt.
Hearing from the back of the crowd a voice that recalled the traditional feats of strength that were used to decide the chosen ones, TGO faced off against the proper party in a series of challenges. Victorious, TGO were quickly ushered out of town towards the crypt by the annoyed and exasperated mayor.
About two hours outside of Kassen, the party encountered three hostile orcs that they hastily killed. Strangely, upon the three orcs' deaths their corpses disappeared as if they had been conjurations, and a strange smell of smoke filled the area in the woods. Stopping for the evening after a few more hours' travel, the party fought a small pack of wolves before falling asleep to an otherwise uneventful evening. In the morning, the party traveled past the Gray Lake where they found the body of a mutilated traveler.
After more overland travel, the party arrived at the Serpent Gorge where The Crypt of the Everflame lay sleeping at the bottom. As if called by fate itself, a steady rain began to fall. After a short trip down the trecharous canyon, the party discovered the gates that led into the crypt. Bizarrely, in front of the doors to the crypt, the party discovered several decomposing horse bodies and a mangled skeleton.
The last thing Homer Jeebus and Crow Magnum remember is the huge fight breaking out in the Hall of Elders in Dwarven Heist pt. II. We join them lost in the Fangwood forest, having been teleported, albeit to a different location than The Greasy Ocho.
After 2 days of travel through the thickened woods Homer and Crow arrive a large serpentine gorge that blocks their path through the forest. Deciding to go through, not around the gorge our heroes descend into the trecharous fissure. Though a perilous climb, Crow Magnum is able to get to the bottom relatively unscathed but Homer Jeebus has a tougher time, sustaining a few points of damage and a sprained ankle on the way to the bottom. At the bottom of the gorge, the pair approaches a set of figures huddled closely around a campfire cautiously, but with an unexplained feeling of ease.
Huddled around a campfire, AH TOH-DE-MAN, Rog, and Dr. Eggman wait for their partner Vladmir Pupin to return from an unexplained venture through the forest. They notice a pair of figures approaching from the gorge. To their surprise the pair is Crow Magnum and Homer Jeebus who have reunited with the Greasy Ocho after the party was split up by the mysterious purple smoke. After a few hours sleep, they notice that Vladmir Pupin has not returned from his visit to the forest. Reluctantly, The Greasy Ocho presses onward into the crypt that lie before them.
An archway of stone is set into the side of a small hill at the bottom of the valley. Moss has overgrown many of the details, but one is still quite clear. The keystone of the arch is carved with a flame symbol with a stylized rune in the middle. Beyond the archway is a darkened tunnel that leads to a pair of massive wooden doors, one of which is slightly ajar.
As the heavy doors swing open, the faint light from outside reveals a long chamber with risen platforms on either side. A faded painting of Kassen is on the far wall. The room appears to be the site of a gruesome battle, with two bodies piled in the center and a number of skeletons scattered around. An echoing wail can be heard somewhere in the distance, beyond this foul chamber. Suddenly, the skeletons spring to life and attack the party.
Fighting off the skeletal menace the tide started to turn, and the party became routed by the skeleton warriors. As if waiting for the proper moment to pounce, Vladmir Pupin came flying into battle on a rope swing, promptly falling flat on his face in the crypt's doorway. With a newfound resolve, and the rallying presence of Vladmir, The Greasy Ocho struck down the skeletal scourge. When the dust from the battle settled TGO discovered the bodies of two mutilated commoners freshly slain in the main hall.
Venturing further into the ruins, the party discovered a room featuring a large pool of clear water, fed by a fountain on the wall above it. A voice boomed out from the darkness, saying, “Magic is the key.” The voice slowly faded, leaving a dreadful silence. Noticing hundreds of keys lining the bottom of the pool, Dr. Eggman used his knowledge of the arcane to determine that a magic signature was emanating from a singular key that he dove into the water to retrieve.
The party found a maze-like room with large obscuring pillars, and a dense mist hanging in the air filled with pits in the floor covered in false stone. Rog and AH TOH-DE-MAN learned the hard way after a few trials that the room contained three levers in the floor, and that the pit traps were strangely cushioned with pillows at the bottom. Further in the dungeon, the party fought a giant bombadier beetle, feasting on the carcass of a murdered villager.
Investigating a ghoulish wail coming from deeper in the dungeon, the party broke down the door of a small chamber revealing Roldare, a mad commoner who had barricaded himself within. He told the party he was in the crypt to prepare it with false traps when something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Referencing "the one that speaks" and "walking bones" he pled with the party to rescue his sister who had been dragged off by the horrors of the crypt. Accepting this mission, and literally dragging Roldare along the party broke down another door to travel further into the dungeon.
Cleverly passing a guardian statue trap, the party encountered a large elaborately decorated room that was split into two levels, connected by a set of two stone staircases. Down the staircases on a stone dais stood a large wooden statue of Kassen holding two giant shields. As AH TOH-DE-MAN approached the statue on the lower level of the room, the statue sprung to life attacking the toadman.
The statue stepped off the dais, trigging a reverse pressure plate that rotated the steps 45 degrees turning the staircases into slick ramps. Dr. Eggman tumbled down the ramps and joined AH TOH-DE-MAN in the fight against the behemoth. Homer, and Vlad gave cover fire from the above platform with their crossbow bolts and arrows while Crow Magnum and Rog slid down the ramps to the lower level to join the close-quarters fight. Before they could join in on the good old fashioned beatdown, AH TOH-DE-MAN was struck unconscious by the wooden golem's shield bash.
We join The Greasy Ocho deep within the Crypt of the Everflame in battle with a massive wooden Golem of Ekat Kassen. AH TOH-DE-MAN having been struck down by the behemoth's massive wooden shield was rapidly losing consciousness as the rest of the party fought tooth and nail to topple the huge wooden fiend. Crow Magnum, flying into a barbarian rage, severed one of the statue's massive arms while Dr. Eggman and Rog gave support. Shit almost hit the fan as Dr. Eggman was struck down and nearly avoided death, while Rog and Crow made a last ditch effort to topple the statue.
Crow Magnum tore the statue asunder as he delivered the killing blow with his greatsword, while Rog attended to the wounds of his fallen comrades. Deciding to stop for the night in the shield guardian's chamber to rest, the party awoke 8 hours later feeling fatigued and sore. Their efforts were not in vain, as the key Dr. Eggman had retrieved in the pool of keys fit a lock in this chamber that opened into a supply vault containing valuable items and resources that were strangely tailored to the class choices of the party.
Returning to the key room, the party tried to knock down the second locked door in the chamber several times before Crow Magnum felled it with a single brutish kick. Down the corridor, the party encountered a series of murals depicting a battle between Kassen and some kind of opposing force. Dr. Eggman noted that on the murals Kassen and another prominent figure were shown fighting, depicted with very prominent amulets hanging around their neck.
Finally the party encountered a door that led to a huge circular chamber with a giant column in the center that had blunt arrows brandished from portholes carved into the side, before venturing further into the chamber, Rog ran back to the shield guardian and grabbed one of his massive hulking tower shields and dragged it back to the party.
Crow Magnum, seeing what Rog was doing grabbed the shield and held it in the doorway as the large column in the center began to rotate and fire arrows around the room. Several minutes passed before the arrows stopped firing and the column slowed to a grinding halt. Victory!
Descending a staircase in the column room, Crow Magnum snuck ahead down the corridor to find a vestibule, noticing something moving behind the pillars in the room. Crow let out a loud CAW to alert his teammates as he was ambushed by four bloody human skeletons. The rest of the party ran to Crow's aid and they quickly dispatched the skeletal menace.
Venturing into the lower level of the crypt the party heard a mysterious dripping sound coming from the eastern passage. Following the noise, in a large interment room the party was ambushed by four large hungry frogs. A quick but tense battle followed, but the party emerged victorious. Searching the room, the party found a devoured human body in the frog's nest with a pouch of gold coins identical to the ones they found on the mutilated bandit's body on the shores of the Gray Lake.
Deeper in the dungeon, the party found a small room with a healing fountain that cured their wounds and refreshed their bodies. Venturing into the southern portion of the dungeon the party found long abandoned catacombs that reeked of rot and death. When they entered the catacombs the party were ambushed by human zombies infected with zombie rot. A tense battle ensued where Dr. Eggman, Rog, and Crow Magnum contracted some kind of sickness from the zombies. One of the creatures struck Rog down, with the Half-Orc narrowly escaping death by the sheer power of his fortitude. After the Zombies were struck down and the chaos of battle was over the party took steps to heal and attempt to stave off the creeping disease.
After the fight with the zombies deep in the Crypt of the Everflame, the party reunited with Bil Gomba Rillo who woke up deep in the crypt after being transported by the purple smoke in the Bortvault. The party encountered a strange reflecting pool, in which they saw their reflections comitting acts of murder against other members of the party.
The party tried to cleave through a closed portcullis, but the sound from their weapons striking the gate alerted a few nearby swarms of bats. After battling the bats, Homer Jeebus and Crow Magnum bent the bars of the portcullis so the party could slip through. In the next room, there was a large fissure in the ceiling filled with hundreds of sleeping bats. Carefully tiptoeing past the sleeping bats, the party next came to a room with statues set to knock the party into pits if they triggered a pressure plate. Fortunately, Bil Gomba Rillo was able to dismantle the trap so the party could pass across the narrow bridge without harm.
In the last room of the crypt, the party was confronted by a skeletal champion, Asar, who had risen from the dead thanks to a burst of necromantic energy due to tomb robbers defiling his and Ekat Kassen's grave. After defeating Asar, the party looted the room and tended to the wounds of Dimira, Roldare's sister who had been taken by the skeleton for questioning about the previous 200 years.
After an uneventful journey back to the town of Kassen, the party hassled the mayor for free drinks, room, and board. Later, in the Seven Silvers Inn and Tavern, the party was approached by the mysterious Cygar Anravis who introduced himself as a representative of the Pathfinder Society who had some work for the party if they were interested. The party, eager to fill their pockets with gold and loot obliged Cygar, as he disappeared into the night telling them he'd be in touch.
Several days have passed since the events at the Crypt of the Everflame and life in the town of Kassen is beginning to return to normal while the party waits in the Seven Silvers Inn and Tavern waiting for word from their Pathfinder contact Cygar Anravis. Eventually Cygar requests that the party meets them in the early afternoon at the river docks ready for travel.
At the docks Cygar informs The Greasy Ocho of his organization's intent to track down the grave robbers who stirred the spirits of Kassen and Asar at the Crypt. Cygar believes that the tomb robbers are affiliated with a new religious organization gaining influence in the Lake Encarthan region. Calling them "The Faith of Razmir" and describing their basic tenets Cygar requests that the party get in contact with a Pathfinder agent named Reginar who is waiting in their destination: the city of Tamren.
Cygar inroduces the party to Captain Walren and Ewem, the crew of a river barge called The Black Mist. The Greasy Ocho's travel to the Nirmathan capital Tamren on The Black Mist has been comp'd by the Pathfinder Society and after settling in on the barge, The Greasy Ocho sets out for Tamren.
Their travel along the Torundel River into Lake Encarthan began quietly. Captain Walren warned the party of creatures that live in the lake and Molthuni pirates that attack Nirmathan ships that sail undefended on the large. A steady rain plagues the entirety of the journey, and after 2 days of sailing on Lake Encarthan the silence is broken by a hostile swarm of small red crabs. The party quickly dispatched the swarm, but on the next night water ghouls emerged from the ship's hold and tried to kill The Greasy Ocho.
After a quick battle with the ghouls, the party examined the cargo hold and discovered that the source of the ghouls seemed to be from a few crates among the cargo that seemed to be busted open from the inside. Vladmir Pupin examined the rest of the crates, noting a distinct magical signature emanating from the remaining unexploded crate. Peeking inside, Vladmir discovered a wondrous figurine in the shape of an owlbear, the kind of figurine that are typically used to quickly summon familiars on the battlefield.
Arriving in Tamren in the middle of the night after a few more days of travel, Captain Walren suggested a local tavern on the waterfront friendly to travelers called The Gar's Last Meal. Deciding they weren't about that scene, the party searched out another local tavern happening upon a popular tavern in the center of town called the Ranger's Lament. The tavern is reportedly associated with the faith of Razmir and the vibes of the place left much to be desired for the weary travelers.
Leaving the Ranger's Lament in search of a NORMAL tavern where they could sleep, the party arrived at a local spot called The Forest's Bounty where they happened upon Reginar, Cygar's Pathfinder agent who was waiting for their arrival. Reginar explained that he was familiar with the party's success in Kassen and was keen to employ them to recover more information about the Faith of Razmir. He explains that the adherents arrived in Tamren about a year ago and began to quickly consolidate influence in the city. The cult makes a big public spectacle out of helping the poor and needy, but Reginar has personally seen the members of the cult beat a man near to death while the city guards stood by doing nothing. He wants the Greasy Ocho to get inside their compound and find empirical proof of their wrongdoing, because without this proof the leader of the city Forest Marshal Gavrik is content to take a laissez faire approach to their operations.
The Greasy Ocho's next step was to obtain membership to the faith of Razmir, and they chose to attend one of their public sermons outside their temple in the center of town the next day. While a hooded figure in a black robe and iron mask addressed the crowd with a sermon from a raised platform, members of the faith in white robes moved about the crowd collecting donations. As these figures passed The Greasy Ocho AH TOH-DE-MAN felt his pocket get picked by one of the acolytes. Calling out the cultist, the situation almost came to blows as the city guard approached to deescalate the situation. After being pressed by The Greasy Ocho the guard, rapidly getting flustered by the increasingly tense situation and fearing violence in the densely packed city square, ordered the cultist to return his stolen coin.
While all of this was going on the figure in black descended from the stage, closely watching the party. After the situation deescalated, he approached the party and greeted them. He introduced himself as Egarthis and explained that he was interested in the party's apparent skill set and invited them to join him in The Ranger's Lament. During small talk with the figure, Bil Gomba Rillo sneakily cast a charm person spell on the robed figure which appeared to improve the figure's attitude towards the party. He went on to explain that the cult had certain goals they needed accomplished of a certain unscrupulous nature, and if the party were interested in making a bit of wealth they need only join his organization and participate in a few brief rituals before getting paid.
Delighted of the party's agreement to join his organization Egarthis instructed the wait staff to serve food and drink to the party. After eating and some brief conversation Crow Magnum's head suddenly slammed on the table in front of him. While he lost consciousness, the rest of the party began to slip away as well. They awoke in cells, stripped of their gear and dressed in white robes. Figures carrying water came into the room and served them water then after an undeterminable period of time Egarthis returned to the party, apologized for the way they were brought into the compound, and led them to a large processional hall where they were presented with iron masks, no doubt an induction ceremony into the Faith of Razmir.